July 16, 2002 - Tuesday

100% more Nekobox today! I needed the extra room.. couldn't kill Heath Ledger otherwise =} Don't worry, he's not dead. What Power Rangers villan ever is? =} Aside from the extra Nekobox, I put in an homage to Rob Schrab who does Scud: Disposable Assasin. I LOVE his works! They're so very original and wacky =} Check it out at Scud! Of course, it's a paper and ink comic, so you'll have to buy it to read it =} But it's definately worth the green paper you trade it for =}

[^Young^] - 5:26 AM PST

Rejected again. Dunno what I did but I guess the interview at Sony went bad. Looks like I'm gonna be looking forward to assistant photography in Livermore. And I really wanted that game testing job....or maybe not. I dunno. People tell me that it's a dead end job and people tell me that it's one of those "get-your-foot-in-the-door" job. I'd like to think that maybe I'm more worth than game testing. But at least I have a back up. I don't think I'm trying hard enough though as far as this job hunting crap. I've got nuthin' to show to get a job that I really like related to the skills I have. I should've kept all this art crap as a hobby and become an engineer or lawyer or doctor. Yeah, should've listened to my parents. But would I be happy? Nope. You know what I really also wanted to be? I wanted to become a sniper for the police force or the military. I wonder how does one become a sniper? I know a lotta people read Nekobox and probably there's a small percent who has worked in the law enforcement field or goverment field. Or perhaps who knows someone who's doing so. E-mail me. What does one go through to become a sniper? I'm wasting too much time here. There so much I want to do with my so called art career but too much crap in my head holding me back. Yeah, just as simple as just getting up and sitting at my drawing table without distractions. But there's too much goin' in my head. More like assessing my life. Graduated from a no name college with mediocre skills, no girlfriend, no job, still living with my parents, haven't created anything worth while to show. Do those things really define a person? Are these the templates we are suppose to follow to find happiness? I gotta break outta this cycle. They say that a man doesn't discover his true self when he has established great comfort and security in life. A man discovers his true self when his comfort and security are threatened and taken away and he must take a stand for something. I need to find what I stand for. I don't think I'm standing for anything and that's why I keep falling. Anyway, sorry for such a depressing rant. Maybe someone out there can beat the crap outta me to make me realize the great things I have right in front of me that I take for granted.

[^o0Kynger0o^] - 8:01 PM PST

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